Husbands

What Makes A Great Husband?

It is not easy being a husband in today’s world.  There are so many expections and so much pressure to be the perfect spouse.  However, what is the perfect spouse?  What role is a husband suppose to play these days?

I could write a book about this subject, but will try to put some key points in place here to help give some guidance and advice on how to be a great husband and what spouses can do to help strenghten their relationships.  I am not an expert in this field, but I have observed many relationships over the years and have found there is one main characteristic that makes a man a great husband.  It is showing love for his wife by being there for her.  This means standing up for her and being there physically, emotionally, and financially.

I think most wives want a husband on their side to fight the daily battles with them and to comfort them in the trenches.  Life isn’t easy for anyone.  However, if you have an ally on your side, you feel more empowered.  Husbands who stand up for their wives are viewed like heros and white knights.  Those husbands who don’t appear to care or who don’t want to rock the boat, end up making their wives feel like they are leading the charge all alone.  One of the most hurtful moments in my marriage was when I felt like I was being attacked and my husband didn’t defend me.  He had no idea why I was upset.  I wanted to get on my white horse and ride away and never look back.  Being there to defend your wife can make you a very powerful husband and a hero in her eyes.

Now let’s talk about being there physically.  This seems easy enough, but it can sometimes be challenging in our fast paced world with everyone going in different directions.  I see some wives drifting away from their husbands just because they aren’t spending time together.  It is important to be in the physical realm with your spouse, doing things together, talking face to face, eating meals together, having physical touch, and performing physical actions for each other.  I know some guys just don’t get it, but doing household chores or repairs can be so meaningful to their wife.  It shows that they are physically engaged in contributing to the quality of their life together.  Jobs and other obligations can separate spouses so they may not be in the same space, but due to technology, there can still be physical aspects such as talking on skype and face timing each other.  I have single friends who are lonely, and long for a spouse, but I also have married friends who are just as lonely, wishing they were single so they could at least date and be with someone.  It is so important for husbands to be there physically or someone else could fill that need.

Next, let’s consider being there emotionally.  I think it is very important for husbands to be able to connect with their wives on an emotional level.  This may not come easy for some husbands, but I feel it can be achieved with a little practice.  It really is quite simple to just be there and to listen to her.  Husbands don’t need to fix things or even understand her emotions, just comfort her and support her and allow her to express herself and validate her feelings.  I don’t think wives should look to their husbands to meet all their emotional needs, but sometimes wives just need to have their husbands tell them that “everything is going to be okay”.  Even if the husband has no idea how things are going to work out, by saying these words out loud it can become a goal and potentially a self fulfilling prophesy.

When it comes to being there for one’s spouse financially, I am relating this to being wise with finances and assets.  Wives appreciate a husband who is either contributing to the household finances and/or is being smart with their money.  When both spouses are considerate of the other person and their finances, it helps to make a stronger relationship.  Too often, I see husbands who either feel like they deserve to be free to handle their money however they want or who don’t want to contribute to the household finances.  This can leave the other spouse feeling like they are being taken advantage of and it can cause unhealthy resentment.

Showing love for a wife by being there for her can strengthen a marriage and can make a husband feel empowered and desired.  Being a great husband can be achieved with some practice.  Just remember to be there to stand up for her and be there physically, emotionally, and financially.  Then together, you can jump on your white horse and ride off into the sunset together.  I won’t promise that you will live happily ever after, but at least you will have someone to share the adventure with along the way.